Natural? Yes. Easy? Not at All.

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Just because it’s natural to have babies, doesn’t mean we’re instantly “naturals” at it. Easy was never in nature’s game plan. Here’s how I know.

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A Letter to My Formerly Big Boobs After My Second Baby

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“Well, girls, we had a good run. You were a force to be reckoned with in college and my twenties and are partly responsible for scoring me free drinks and landing my husband. But we’ve had two babies, now, and you look as tired as I feel.” Click here to continue reading.

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QUIZ: How Many F**ks Do You Have Left?

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“There’s a growing epidemic across the nation of women, particularly mothers, declaring that they have no more fucks to give — that they just can’t care about stuff like they used to. Take this quiz to discover whether you’re at risk for running out of fucks.”

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Don’t Poke the Mama Bear (That’s Me. I’m the Mama Bear)

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“Imagine two playful cubs chewing on their mom’s ears, tugging on her furry back and batting at her nose while she’s trying to catch salmon for dinner. Every ounce of her is focused and engaged, partly on keeping her cubs out of the water, partly on protecting herself from all of the touching and partly on swiping at jumping fish. That’s basically what my daily life looks like with two small children.

Now, picture a deer strolling up to the mama bear and repeatedly telling her that all the rough-housing is distracting him from sipping the stream down river. She’ll eventually growl, “Get out of my face. I’m busy here,” and that’s sort of what happened to me on an airplane recently. 

Except, I actually yelled, “Fuck you, bitch!” and silenced the entire plane.” Click here to read more.

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