4 Things I’ve Recently Done that Reminded Me How Hard It Is to Be a Toddler

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  1. “Trying to complete a jigsaw puzzle 

    On a normal Friday night, after the kids go to bed, my husband and I will catch up on whatever shows we’ve DVR’d and enjoy some wine. In an ill-advised effort to mix it up (notice I didn’t say, “spice it up”), I bought a jigsaw puzzle of a beautiful Venetian landscape for us to complete together over our bottle(s) of red. 

    You know those moments when you’re doing an activity with your kids and you think to yourself, “How the hell are you still not getting this?” Well, if there are intelligent alien life forms out there watching over us, then they were definitely saying that about my husband and me that evening.” Click here to continue…

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A Letter to My Formerly Big Boobs After My Second Baby

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“Well, girls, we had a good run. You were a force to be reckoned with in college and my twenties and are partly responsible for scoring me free drinks and landing my husband. But we’ve had two babies, now, and you look as tired as I feel.” Click here to continue reading.

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The Developmental Milestones That Should Actually Make You Excited

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“While I can’t fathom some of the challenges that will come with raising tweens and teens, I’m pretty sure my future 13-year-old will be able to wipe her own butt, so when my kids hit these less publicized milestones, I plan to pop a bottle of champagne. Will you join me?”

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QUIZ: How Many F**ks Do You Have Left?

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“There’s a growing epidemic across the nation of women, particularly mothers, declaring that they have no more fucks to give — that they just can’t care about stuff like they used to. Take this quiz to discover whether you’re at risk for running out of fucks.”

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12 Business World Phrases Repurposed for Life with Kids

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  1. Whoah, whoah, whoa. Did you just hit him? It’s time for a SWOT Analysis. Click here to see the rest!

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A Night Owl’s Guide to Raising an Early Bird

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I am not, nor will I ever be, a morning person, but children usually are. Mine are no exception, so this is how I cope.

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The Lullaby That Could Ruin Your Kids

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Full disclosure: This was not my original title. The editors definitely went for dramatic effect with this one.  I don’t think singing this lullaby will ruin your kids, but I do think its  message is the opposite of what we should be telling them. Are there lullabies and nursery rhymes that make you cringe?

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